Radio One Blew Over The Cockoo's Breast

The stiffs in suits at BBC Radio One are defending a decision to edit lyrics out of the song Fairytale of New York by The Pogues and the late Kirsty MacColl. The track was first released back in 1987 and is being played on Radio 1 in the run up to Christmas with the word faggot removed. The BBC says members of the audience would find it offensive. But the decision was branded "ridiculous" by Radio 1 DJ Chris Moyles, who is leading a campaign to make the 1987 song the Christmas number one.
Twenty years of playing this track unedited hasn't really left the British listening public up in arms, or screaming 'Equal rights for faggots.' That's because the British public doesn't really care, or at least is not going to be offended by such a word. It takes you back to the days when the station had been playing Frankie Goes To Hollywood's Relax for weeks until DJ Mike Reid had a moment of realisation and learned that the song was filled with sexual connotations.
The Beeb has long seen itself as judge and jury to what we can and cannot hear. Radio does seem to be the last bastion of 'decency' - whereas on TV you can hear every word a 12 year old will look for in the Oxford Dictionary after the watershed, but you won't hear it on the radio - or very rarely anyway. This is quite remarkable when you consider that you're actually seeing and hearing someone swear on the box in the corner, but on the wireless it's deemed as too offensive.
TV has changed, some may say become more liberated over the years. The BBC used to show blockbusting movies carefully dubbed to alter the swear words. I remember watching Robo-Cop and rather than bleeping words like MF - they over dubbed them with 'Mother-Crusher' etc. This is despite the fact the film was full of gratuitous violence and mindless killing; but at least the British public could switch off the telly safe in the knowledge that if they're ever going to get the living daylights beaten out of them in the street by an easily influence kid, at least they won't be swore at...!

TV Eye

I occasionally get drawn to the TV - shite TV. Yes I'll watch a film most nights I'm not out, but that's late on, usually after 11pm.
What I'm talking about is shite TV - I mean soap operas...
Coronation Street..! I was drawn to the wedding of the err... ahem... year between Sarah and Jason. It would be crap if they managed to get married without a hitch - what sort of soap opera would that be like...! Every single one has a dramatic wedding, be it Eastenders, Neighbours, Emmerdale, Eldorado, Holly Oaks etc etc...
Sarah has a deranged half-brother called David Platt (not the ex-footballer) played by the highly believable (for a soap star) Jack Shepherd.
The soon to be wedded couple are at the altar, but David has vowed [sic] to spoil their day and has gone missing, threatening suicide. Only Sarah and her mate know about this and tore up his 'suicide note.' Mother Gail Platt has informed the police that her son is merely missing and had taken his blue car.
As the ceremony takes place, David drives his car into the Manchester Ship Canal.
Now this is where the barely believable story becomes ridiculously unbelievable...
The police turn up at the wedding - insisting to speak to Gail Platt just as her daughter is about to take her vows. They tell her a blue car was seen only a few minutes earlier by a member of the public being driven into the canal...
Now hold on a minute... They hadn't seen the car themselves - the divers had yet to go in, and therefore the only news they had was from a witness. Find me a police force in the UK that would interrupt a wedding to tell the bride's mother that someone has reported (not found) a blue car being driven into a canal...? And also a police force would can act quick enough to discover that the family are at a wedding in a church and not at home.
What a load of bollocks, - at least Stacey shagging her new husband's Dad over on Eastenders was a little more believable, if not just as shite..!

Nomadic Tendencies

I lost count about 5 moves ago, I used to keep a list of all the abodes I have lived in. It was something like 33 I think... In the thirties anyway.
The House of Crud, Crud Acres, Crud Towers and now Crud Cottage.. A nice little 5 bedroomed settlement in the village of Dyserth. A few paces up the road are two pubs, a little further is the spectacular waterfall we used in the Dimmock, Definately Dimmock sketch; the same setting we used to film The Alarm's single 'Raindown'. Across the road is the Alarm's rehearsal studios, where Martin Wilding busy's himself mixing and recording until I tempt him to the evils of the pub.
Crud Towers was a great flat - 3 huge bedrooms for the Crudlets to trash, but it was the location that let it down - bang in the centre of Rhyl. Fantastic for crawling home from a gig and a birds eye view of the Taxi Rank fights - but awful for parking, trying sleep at night and, well... its on the edge of the most socially deprived area in Europe - The West End of Rhyl...!

While I was on the move, so was North Wales gig promoter Blood & Lipstick; or Steve Rastin as he's known to his friends. He took the bold and brave decision to end a four year relationship with Bar Blu in Rhyl and take his operations to the newly vamped Billys on the prom.
I have always enjoyed a good relationship with Blu's Tony - I drink lots of his beer, provide him with alternative music for his sound system and review the bands who play there. So it was almost inevitable that he would ask me to promote bands when Steve pulled out. Under any other circumstances I would've been happy to help; not so much putting gigs on - life is stressful enough without adding to it..! Although I'm happy to continue as I have; reviewing, previewing etc.
The circumstances are thus...
'This town ain't big enough for the both of us...' Rhyl cannot sustain two regular band nights a week; let alone on the same night. Yes, Dave Cox and The Punk in Drublic contingent will continue with their own exclusive punk scene, spread across the coast, but two venues both putting on bands of the same ilk on the same Wednesday night...?
No, I Don't think so...
No, I know so...

The solution for Blu is to change their night, although Wednesday is the coolest night to go out these days, thanks to Blu and B&L - people go out for a purpose, most nobheads save their nobheadedness for the weekend and the scallies don't get their Dole money til Thursday, so Wednesday is not only cool, its pretty safe!
Billys Bar, like Blu is a trendy nightspot - and a bolt out of the err... blue when live nights were announced. There have been many who have courted Steve Rastin in attempts to lure his musical and promoting prowess away from Bar Blu, and someone finally came up with enough goods to make Adam eat the apple.
It had to taste good - the live nights were established; recognised on the UK's small band circuit and had a homemade crowd who were present for live music rather than a particular band.
So Billys Bar is like the next rung up, a proper live rig, lights, and big enough to attract bands up that next rung perhaps? The Cribs? Gossip? Wombats? Ting Tings? Holloways?
Add this to the dedicated Podcast that Green Dragon has done and you nearly have the complete package to attract more people and bigger bands. Me and The Dean will film a track next week and see if we can edit and process a YouTube video to boot...

Wupting Back Ache

My fucking back is killing me! I have to work for a living - self employed tiler and I've been working like a frog looking for water. I was gonna put 'like a dog' but dogs don't really work do they? They just laze around, shit on pavements and sniff other dogs' arses. Unlike a frog looking for water, because when I lived / worked in Greece it was a particularly hot summer and the stream that normally reduces to a trickle in the hotter months, had actually dried up. I was working at a house with a swimming pool and an army of frogs came leaping up the mountain to the pool for water.
Anyway, I digress. I've really put my back [sic] into work this week and have suffered terribly. Someone told me most back sprains are caused when putting on your socks or underwear, this doesn't affect me as I never take mine off (heh heh heh!). Mine is caused by hard physical labour, and sitting here upright typing doesn't help either.
The only way I made it thru the day is with the trusted iPod - I've snared the computer speakers off the Crudlets' PC, plugged the iPod into them and voila! I can happily (happily? you are kidding...) tile away, free from wires. Today I listened to Green Dragon's Bite Size Bonus from last Tuesday. Gruff Rhys' excellent Candylion LP - the 14min song 'Skylon' is a masterpiece, and also listened back to my latest Crud Cast, which I recorded last night... Oh dear, it's a bit raucous innit?! Alcohol should be avoided when broadcasting - how many times did I say 'cunt' ? The music was ace though, Klaus Kinski are amazing! And in Captain Hotknives I think we've found ourselves regular entertainment....! Anyway, take a listen, you will regret it..!!
Alaska's WUPT have long been regular participants to my website and my show - and one sure way of getting airplay is to ply me with gifts - like a nice spanking new t-shirt...!!!!!

The teabags here at Crud Towers have run out, the fridge is void of milk, there's large spaces in the larder and I haven't had the time for shopping. The remainder of the bottle of whisky I nicked on the night of The Gathering (it's a long story) has to suffice as beverage - it's disgusting! How I long for a cup of tea.

The Food of Love

Music is the food of love - and very often gives me indigestion, but lately I've been gorging in the best restaurants who have served up treat after treat.

The menu has many courses...

For starters we have Head In The Shed from Swansea who brought us a stunning debut single 'Have We All Gone Insane' reminiscent of an electronic Killing Joke, and just as angry. They swiftly followed it up with another single 'Why?' which lends itself to the main riff from 'You Really Got Me' and I have just rec'd a new track they've been working on, an instrumental not too dissimilar to Portrait of A Lifetime called 'I've Got Blisters on My Brain' which has thumping beats and odd mis-beats and blips blistered all over it. (website)

Also from Swansea come the excellent, and I mean excellent White Noise Sound, good enough to be featured on Jerry Kranitz's Aural Innovations radio show in Ohio, they combine indie shoegaze with psychedelia smith like sweeping recipes topped with the loveliest delayed feedback you'll ever hear. (website)

The main course has gotta be the double CD compilation release from Northern Star Records. Entitled 'Psychedelica Volume Two' you get 35 tracks of the finest aural cuisine to feast on. Featuring the likes of The Quarter After, The Deaths, Dolly Rocker Movement, Dust, Lovetones, Hopewell, Soft Hearted Scientists and many more...!
It's hard to define psychedelic these days; to me it sounds like good music. In the old days of Sons of Selina the term meant an obscure b-side that contained random loops and could be played at 45 or 33rpm. Northern Star is run by exiled Rhylites Scott and Ollie, who are by their own admission, a bit like Laurel & Hardy but with razor blades.
Tuck in at this website

The sweet menu will be the bitterest you'll ever taste! With not a hint of sugar coating you find Klaus Kinski sending your taste buds recoiling! They have a split single with Ectogram due for imminent release, and their offering 'Ecce Homo' will have you smashing plates in the aisles. Sounding very much in the no wave-ish, noise-rocky, horror-punk dirtness of Wendykurk, this maggot ridden infestation from Llanfairfechan are the butterfly that's turned into the ugliest caterpillar you'll ever see.
Brilliant! (website)

On the cheese board (by no coincidence) comes Denbigh's Hogchild. I had a phone call from a familiar voice the other day in the shape of Steve Jones, who hasn't spoke to me since he ran out of Pocket Venus in Oct 2002, leaving me with a hefty bill from having to cancel a London showcase. But hey, that was almost 5 years ago. He shoved a CD through my letterbox and the 3 tracks cement the fact that he still is an outstanding guitarist. Backed ironically by Gotti members Steve Flavell and Mauve Brown, Hogchild could quite easily've called themselves Jimi Hendrix and you would've been none the wiser. The opening track 'Killing Floor' is my favoured cheese. (website)

Coffee and biscuits will be served up by the return of Der Bomber at Bar Blu, Rhyl tonight...

Video Killed The Radio Star

That song by Buggles makes me feel sad, makes me want for the days when I was 11 or 12 - my age when it came out. It invokes memories of a carefree childhood, without the hassles that present day life throws at you. What bollocks eh! Childhood was hard, Denbigh was a bully's paradise and everyone and anyone was a target. We had no money, we wore 2nd hand clothes, and yet I hear that song and I yearn for those days - maybe its a mortality thing, because everytime you wake up it's the anniversary of being a day closer to your death...
I stumbled across The Buggles on YouTube, playing that song live in 2004 - and yes it induces vasodilation and releases endorphins, but I was also taken aback by the actual performance, which was pretty phenomenal, unless I'm watching it through the huge tinted spectacles the singer is wearing.
Anyway, judge for yourself - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laZw3Y3JCJ8

I've been hoisting myself back into editing videos, having being dealt a hefty blow last year, which quite literally turned my whole life upside down. Just finshed a Sons of Selina video that was recorded in 1998 - these are not high budget affairs (actually, they're no budget) and take a couple of hours to complete - The Alarm stuff I did last year would take anything up to a week a song sometimes! - But with these vids it offers a medium for bands to get their stuff seen, and I'm more than happy to get stuck into doing vids for bands - so please get in touch.
The Sons of Selina lyrics to 'Climb' perhaps befit the way I've felt perfectly.
Take a look and have a listen...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSEYJIi62wc

Swimming On Chief Brody's Day Off

The majority of those who read this will be well aware that I run a website - a database of Welsh and Scouse alternative bands, past, present and future, with now almost 4000 individual entries (looks just like an encyclopedia).
It doesn't matter if the band is the Super Furry Animals from Bethesda who enjoy international stardom or Chwys Troed, also from Bethesda who split up after one rehearsal when the guitarist jumped up and smashed his mum's coffee table! Both bands have a place and deserve equal recognition on the site.

One person who I'm sure has achieved the award for being in more failed bands than anyone else (in North Wales) has to be Gav Lawton. He averages four, sometimes five bands a year - forming, building a website, changing the name, building a new website, losing the drummer and guitarist, changing the name, building another new website, splitting up, forming another band and so on ad infinitum...!
I do feel like sending him a bill for the time it takes to add and change the information, and for the bandwidth..!

Ok - Gav Lawton's previous bands.... Scramble Joe, Seattle Joe, Carbonari, Carl Hogan, Dekay, Dred, Longstay, Lucid, Up In Arms, Utopia, Pain Filtered Farm, Jinxed, Torn Asunder, Crumble.

Phew! And they're the ones I can remember! I'm sure there's more, and probably, no, there's definitely more bands listed there than they've collectively played gigs. But who cares? (Apart from my typing fingers!), that's what link2wales is all about; documenting the undocumentable!
Gavin's latest venture is called Swimming On Chief Brody's Day Off - check 'em out www.myspace.com/swimmingonchiefbrodysdayoff

Hope to see them live before they split up etc etc...

Teenage Angst

Still being a teenager having just turned 40 the inevitable day had to come. My car became Dad’s Taxi as I ferried my 13-year-old daughter through the wind and the rain to MASE in Old Colwyn. She wore stripy tights, mini-skirt, some kind of pirate t-shirt and black eye-liner running into a cross above her left cheekbone.
’I’d say I’m more Emo than Goth.’
She stated, and I thanked my lucky stars that she’s not into all that R’n’B rubbish and sugar coated mindless garbage that the mainstream want you to listen to.
The Music And Sound Experience (to give MASE its full title) began at the turn of the century, run by a few dedicated individuals intent on nurturing musical talent within the youngsters of the area.
Registered as a charity rather than a business, it has affordable recording facilities, a venue and a sound system most bands would die for.
In its embryonic days at the Conference Centre in Llandudno I used to attend and review the conveyer belt of bands that plied their wares to a thronging mass of youths, baying for an idol.
My reviews were honest; honest enough to receive angry emails from annoyed parents, ‘How dare you say my son can’t sing,’ etc.
If you tell someone they’re good when they’re not, the only favour you’re giving them is a boost of their ego. Tell them how it really is and they’ll hate you for it, but they’ll be more determined to do something about it next time.
Six years on from those early reviews, those band members will all now be in their early twenties, in further education, in better bands or flipping burgers. There’s a new breed now and I popped my head into the MASE venue in Old Colwyn the other night, looking for my daughter (the taxi meter was left running!). It was hard to find her amongst the throes of a hundred identical individuals, but I was taken aback by the superb sound coming from the stage. I think the band was Anglesey’s Entity, and having seen thousands of bands (usually 3 or 4 a week) it does take a lot for me to sit up and listen. I sat up and I listened. Excellent stuff, and I take my hat off to both the band, and to MASE for providing a great sound and an outstanding set up.Support it - http://www.myspace.com/masestudios

Neil Crud runs the www.link2wales.co.uk website