Saturday, March 22, 2025

Cyclepathic Cash Only Cyclist's Funeral

The weekend was slightly marred by the fact I had to work (yes even rockstars have to work for a living), so the kiddo had to string along. To keep him occupied for four hours while I made money for The Man, I coerced him into cleaning my car with the promise of money and the added bonus of commandeering a hose pipe. I've had the car for almost a year and it's NEVER been washed. Fair play, Charlie took it in his stride and did a sterling job, even vaccing the interior. Talking of sterling, I did try and fob him off with ten Euros left in my wallet after Lisbon, but he wasn't buying into that. We later agreed on a £12 kite from Smyths toys instead - alas not enough huff in the air to fly it, but I'm sure Storm Elon will be along soon.
By noon, it was time to close shop and let the leisure begin - I finally fixed the bike rack to the (now pristine) car and mounted our bikes and headed East to Llanfairfechan promenade. We hit the route on our bikes, traversing probably the toughest section of the North Wales Cycle Path around Penmaen Head and into Penmaenmawr. An ice cream on the beach was called for but the sign read 'CASH ONLY' and I sighed at the Euros in my otherwise empty wallet. I had read earlier that the Scandanavian countries were the pioneers in promoting a cashless society, but are now encouraging their populations to start using the green stuff again, and ensure some is also kept at home in case of a cyber attack. Cash should be king, with every card transaction you do, you're tracked and traced by the corporate cookie monster, just waiting to spam you with shit you don't need. Plus, if you're self employed then, money makes the world go round and the taxman, who fucks you senseless already, can't clobber you so easily.
The wonderful Bruise Control sing:

I'd rather see the grave before I see tears for the taxman
I'm gonna knock the jaw off the next toff that tells me to relax man
I'm sick to my fucking gut of you telling me what to do
The best thing i ever did was stop listening to you
Death to the jobsworths, death to the snitches
Death for the taxman, death to his riches
Death for the dead, death for the living
The decision was made to return to the car, completing a six mile cycle, and head to Llandudno pier for an ice cream, which we duly did! 
'Hey Neil!' - it was Adam of Scotch Funeral with two cohorts, also on the pier to soak in the magnificent view. The said cohorts were (I guess), Steve the drummer and cameraman Alex - they were taking a break from filming a video for the forthcoming Scotch Funeral album, called 'Ever & Ever'. This is exciting! On vinyl no less!! Fair do's... I'm really looking forward to hearing that gnarly garage punk offering (and I'm sure you are too).
(Charlie plays harmonica while I ponder over a crisp butty on the cyclepath)

#punk #cycling #northwales #cyclepath #bruisecontrol


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